do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Randomize
