I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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