my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
