Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
How external is "for external use only"?
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
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