I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
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