Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
We have so much sex to catch up on
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
It was a blind-side dick pic.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
