you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Randomize
