Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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