actually, I'm a sock model
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
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