Don't make out with my wife yet
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
