I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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