Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
