I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Randomize
