return my video game
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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