Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Randomize