I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
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