i think my tv is drunk
So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
