he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
