East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
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