I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
