Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
it glows. i had to have it.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Randomize
