Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
