hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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