Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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