i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize