garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
