is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Randomize
