Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize
