there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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