i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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