two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
