I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
