My girlfriend figured out who you are.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
