I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
