I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Randomize
