It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
me + whiskey = a bad person
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Randomize
