Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
