WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Randomize
