Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
