you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
Randomize
