Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
