Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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