I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
