kristin has been a bad kristin
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Randomize
