OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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