don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
My vagina is officially offended.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
You don't make any sense
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