Sry I called you an 8
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
