yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
