official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
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