if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
tequila makes me forget i have legs
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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