I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Semen is not good for contacts.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
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