Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
He shit in the fireplace
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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