I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
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