Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
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