I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
handjob tips. give me some.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
