is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
