When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
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