I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Randomize
