I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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