Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
