They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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